Hi everyone. It’s been a hot, hot minute. A lot of stuff has happened. I feel like I say that in every post… I would like to stop saying that in every post.
The biggest thing that’s happened – I’ve gone back to work full time.
Yep. And I’m loving every. single. second. of it.
I was a terrible stay at home mom. I started to feel like I was in a prison. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything else in the world, but I felt so lonely most days. It was taxing on our finances and it honestly started to make me feel pretty worthless. I missed having a career. I missed missing my kids. So, I’m now working with an incredible company, consisting mainly of women. A lot of the women I work with are mothers and it’s nice to have others to talk to; others who get it. I’m lucky. I’m happy. Things are good.
I’ve decided to stop trying to make my blog something. I love writing. It’s a great stress reliever for me, and I love sharing things with my family and friends. I don’t, however, love strangers reading about my life. I wanted to love it. I wanted to be comfortable with it, but I’m just not. I want to write what I want to write about, instead of something that might bring in some revenue. Per usual, I’m going in a different direction. But at least I’m trying to figure things out, right?
Eliana’s nearly two and a half now. I know, I can’t believe it either. I remember finding out (very unexpectedly) that we were pregnant with her. I remember hearing her heartbeat for the first time at the doctor’s office. I remember when they plopped her on me and she pooped on me after delivering her. I should have known then what a wild ride it would be with her… But, alas, here we are. She’s speaking in full sentences now, which is weirding both Brad and I out. The things she remembers and talks to us about is incredible. We have long discussions about the moon and dinosaurs. Gosh, she loves the moon. She could care less about the sun, but she absolutely adores the moon. I call her my “moon girl” now. We both have the same favorite dinosaur — a triceratops. I’m pretty proud of that. Her eczema is 90% better. I’m so relieved, I don’t even know how to put it in words. When your child is hurting, so are you. All you want is to fix it. And we finally found a fix. I’m kicking myself for not taking her to Dr. Schlessinger sooner, but I’m glad we took her and I feel so incredibly blessed that I had this giant feeling to give him a call. It sounds horrible, but I always thought he was overrated. Well, it turns out that he isn’t. He’s incredible and if you ever need a dermatologist in the Omaha area, check out Schlessinger. We go back to see him later this month, and I hope he’ll send us copies of the before and after photos he took. I’d love to share them and give others hope. Her allergies are… better. We had a pretty horrible meeting with her allergist that left me using choice expletives and vowing never to return, so we are now going to be checking out new allergists in the area. Hopefully someone will be able to actually listen to us and give us some better insight.
Arlo is 6 months now, and boy is he just the snuggliest, smiliest, and most wonderful boy I’ve ever seen (I might be a little biased…)! He honestly thinks everything is hilarious. And every single time he looks at me, he smiles. It melts my heart. I’ve started a not so great habit of rocking him to bed and nap. I can’t help it. I need that time with him, and more importantly, I need to be needed by him. It’s so cute. I take him in his room, sink down in the big lazy boy I refuse to part with, and he instantly just lays his head down on me, sighs, and goes to sleep. Every stress I have, every thought I have just goes. It’s so peaceful, so calm… Everything is okay in those minutes I spend rocking him. I remember those times with Eliana. I do it, even though I know it’s a bad habit, because I know soon enough he’ll become more independent and won’t need me as much anymore. I dread those days, so for now, I’m taking what I can.
Thanks for letting me pour my heart out. I had this overwhelming urge to write. Sometimes it bubbles up. Writing is such a big part of who I am. Being an introvert, it can be hard to express myself and get everything out verbally. It feels so good to write.
Until the next post!